we all float on

The storm calms down. Just in time for a best's dad to be rushed to the hospital for surgery in the next couple of days. So there's that. But overall everything that was kind of a mess seven days ago is resolving.

I will say that after holding it steady for so long my shoulders are an achy mess and if I knew what was good for me I would be booking a massage, pronto. Maybe I will.

*

My roommate greets me with "uggggh, I have another assignment in x" this morning and part of me inside laughs/dies because she has absolutely no idea what actual stress is. She also proudly announced that she was walking instead of taking her car and that she loves walking. This is the first time I have known her to walk anywhere since we have lived together, I have walked in storms and deadly wind chills and generally crap weather every day, to class to work to get groceries and run errands. She says "I would walk, I love walking, it's just that I'm so busy."

I'm-so-busy syndrome is ridiculous. It's a symptomatic justification of some other issue. You are busy because you choose to be. You don't have time for things because they aren't a priority. You don't do it because you don't want to.

People often substitute "I'm busy" for "I'm important."

I complain about her, but now it's just becoming enlightening because she reminds me to be conscious of certain tendencies and that we all have choices. That even the best situations do not guarantee good outcomes, and that no matter where you are placed in the world at a given time you engage with it in certain ways that will affect you.

*

I've realized that although I have a lot of love for almost everyone in my class, they don't necessarily love each other. We were out for drinks and tension was palpable. I didn't ask, I don't need to know. The night concluded with F. and I sitting in a booth alone at our favorite pub watching the world go by. We agreed to do New York together, tripping along wet melting streets, heading home.

I went away and everyone grew up.

Maybe in some ways I did too. Last night RBH and I went grocery shopping and made dinner. I'm happy with him. Grocery shopping was fun. Realistically, it needs to be, because the point of being with someone right now is not extravagant hours on end of strawberries and champagne, it's making the ordinary parts of life better.