I'm ready to write something new, I think, new format/new forum. I went back fifteen months ago last night. I really do believe writing about things sets a course and constructs a narrative, and doing so in a potentially public forum makes the words weigh more. My life can be explained by very few things but consistent writing and luck may be a start.

The chronology is good but it's closing off, so much and nothing has happened between january 08 and now. June 08 to mid april 09 stand as a mostly lost year. The year I started watching tv again, did a lot of yoga, waited and thought through it.

Yesterday at brunch she said I guess I got it out of my system in highschool. The chasm widened. All this space has allowed me to watch lives unfold and a not unfamiliar awareness mine is different. It will never get out of my system, it is my system.

I want to live, as much as possible, along the edges of things happening, expanding the space of this time to fill with contents. I want to know people, in deep and long ways, and in short interactions. I want to read more great books, which turns on different parts of your brain than watching and observing. I want to dance and laugh really hard until I am old. Most people I know don't do either of those things enough. I want to take care of my body so it will have me as long as possible. I want to sort out the difficult parts of life by bobbing in the ocean.

I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life...to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

~Henry David Thoreau

And this is no longer needed for that. So, goodbye.