fake fridays

Dear USA,

While you're giving it out, I'll take a billion. I have "products" and could "employ" some people for a cool nine figures. Try me.

x, L.

I'm bustin' out in t-minus sixteen hours. Places to be, people to see. In the meanwhile, creating very authoritative reports and contemplating the distant ex I just ran into in my hallway. To which my coworker (who married her first boyfriend five years ago) said "uh, how many people did you date in school, exactly?"

Uh, some.

Hey,

I love how you conveniently forget where I work and are impressed every time you remember. Like how I conveniently forget you exist. Guess we're even!

x, L.