Lovers... In a Dangerous Time

I do not want to do my job today. The whole week is more slog, less intellectual, a list of things to do before setting up camp in a hotel room next week. Check, check, check

The election yesterday was an amazing non-event despite a political time. I voted, changing my vote at the last second away from strategy to halfhearted democratic "one vote! one voice!" emotive ballot scarring. Except my riding was already pretty much decided, so it was not exactly maverick.

I had to produce a copy of my resume yesterday, so I can be "introduced" at a dinner tomorrow. Reading it over, some evident conclusions:

(1) It makes me look "athletic,"
(2) and sort of like a militant (pinko?) socialist,
(3) who loves faux-humble elitist arts

HOW IT SHOULD READ:

I am a published poet (in a low grade literary journal), a jazz festival supporter (worked in the beer tents for free tickets), and a political radio commentator on a feminist program (community radio, which really, is the best kind).

In the past few years, I've "taught" mountain biking, learned to surf, and performed with a "dance team" (once per year). To be fair, I do have many badass scars from grinding on reef and getting thrown into a wall playing floor hockey. That has to count for something.

I have no idea why I was given any of the listed awards, and none of my jobs are as impressive as they seem. Except maybe the time I gave weekly university lectures, but that was under duress and mostly a poor performance.

HOW I WOULD INTRODUCE MYSELF:

"...is kind of Amish. She doesn't own a TV or a car and her laptop has been broken for weeks because she's too lazy to find a new cord. Most of her past year has involved covert activities in support of living within 200m of good surf breaks. Sometimes, she volunteers, and sometimes she doesn't. She has an average number of facebook friends and relatively straight teeth (if a small overbite), she gets along well with bartenders all over the world. She plans to do yoga and surf until someone tells her to stop, has mixed feelings about her carbon imprint, and unsuccessfully attempts the weekend crossword puzzle virtually every week."