lentil soup

Yesterday I secretly moved out of my house just in time to grab the October copy of Surfer magazine from the mailbox. The key will be returned in due time. The best solution is to unpack and settle, clean all the Fall clothes and stock the cupboards.

I'm really torn if I want things to work out. Pro: love? The con: if I am again more single, the plan is obvious. Leaving here come spring, maybe never coming back.

Use the contract end as a springboard to find work somewhere I want to be, apply for further school funding overseas, and maybe even bomb back to SA for a month this year around winter swell if things go well. Bounce around for five more years, take interesting assignments, see two more continents.

If I stay I'm not saying all these things go, but I would plan to do them premised on this place as home base, longer term. The hard part is he wants a sure thing before he gets involved but until he gets involved I don't know if this is a sure thing.

So now I know: I don't want anyone else. But that is an unfortunate phrase that can be read two different ways.