I hand in something that has taken me far too long to finish. My ultimate supervisor says "you should take the rest of today off. And you are taking tomorrow off?" Causing a four day weekend. My job doesn't suck at all.
The girl I was most envious of when I was eleven through fourteen because I thought she looked like Drew Barrymore is getting married this year. To an incredibly unattractive guy, unattractive on several physical levels, not redeemed by any overarching feature beyond possible personality which was not evident from our meeting where he seemed bland like potatoes. I'm superficial, possibly very, because this is baffling, although he may be the only person she ever dated. Huh.
To be fair, she did ask, claws out, if there was anyone special. Popular trump card of people who would like to be better than you. I gave the geography and left out the rest, because what's the point?
*
The girl I was most envious of when I was fourteen through sixteen, because she has always been beautiful and confident, is drunk on the lawn telling me everything. About the last loser she dated who owes her money and has a drug problem, about how her parents made her go to school and she wasted her time, about getting the guts to travel the world. We're confidants and I feel a little sorry for her, something is alone and vulnerable even with being beautiful and confident and set for life.
She's funny and I wonder what would of made us friends back then, we're not that different. We light fireworks and watch the stars and it will probably be ten more years before we talk again.
*
Because it's safe for us to pretend, like we always were. Bad enough at this that a plan B is what lets us keep raising the stakes. Stability among the shaking threats that someday we won't know each other, someday it will take more than fifteen minutes for it to feel like it always did, one day someone will be left holding the ball (game over). You make me feel like...
*
All/always returning to where we're comfortable.
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