I ended up seeing R. last night and remembered why I like him. And, he apologized genuinely and profusely. I forget how much I like being around him until he's right there, sometimes, and when I'm finally with him how everyone pales in comparison. I hung out in his house after he left early to the airport, made breakfast and the bed. His home is the only place that feels like home right now.

Ping pong paddle theory.

Relationship = elastic.
Ball = me.
Paddle = him.

If I was seeing someone as comfortable and adapted to instability as I am, the result would be even less direction, elimination of places to land. And while all of this is okay, sometimes having somewhere to go isn't a bad thing, some constant amplifies and clarifies the meaning behind the chaos, a signpost on the speedway. Without someone like him, I'm not sure I'd ever live in a space without unpacked boxes.

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Lately I want to outsource coolness, like I'm getting to an age, sick of the effort expended to be on the cusp of anything and just want someone to do it for me. Sift through, pick some things out. Which is scary and creates visions of being thirty and telling someone how cool this new Maroon 5 album is.

Speaking of. Starbucks late today, for convenience and of caffeine, killing time before catching a ride back home. The music there, at least in that one, used to be super obscure a couple of years ago when it was a study haunt. I'd keep a pad of paper nearby and write down lyrics every once in awhile to hunt down via internet search engine, sometimes the obscurity level would be beyond THE INTERNET. Today it was a mix of Mayer/Deathcab/Jack Johnson genericness combined with a few warbling Nellie McKay tracks. Did they fire the whole music department? Damn you, recession.

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I've never had a driver's license. When I was in the cop shop on Friday I found a pamphlet describing the process. On Saturday I'm going to restart it, aiming to write the test late spring. Still zero desire to own any kind of vehicle. In fact, not driving has actually become easier over time, due to (a) a preference for living in urban centers and sustainable neighborhoods, and (b) green becoming cool and the price of gas skyrocketing. However, on the off chance that something happens where driving would be an asset, it would be helpful to have the probationary periods out of the way and internationally it can be helpful to be able to rent/drive if necessary. Plus there are probably massive designated driver IOUs to attend to.