I leave early Tuesday morning. Dawn. Leaving here is not like leaving other places, less ties, not as far... but leaving marks the real end of everything that came before and the start of a period of consequences.

It's horrible and hilarious that when I write consequences I mean trying to figure out how to make the picture of happiness I have in my head (generally, involves oceans) with the accidental life constructed. The reeeelationship, career thing. The fact that I am barely crossing the mid twenties threshold weighs heavily, beckoning: you still have time, you still can make these choices. What I want to do, in many ways, has to become and immediate secret when I get back. Cold feet are bad for business.