People ask if it feels good. I say I'm ambivalent. I mean that I live with fear that something will go wrong. I'm waiting on marks. One of my exams didn't go well, two were hard. I don't have certain options to fix anything that goes wrong because of the nature of my job, and I don't want to talk about it or celebrate yet.
The anxiety is worst when life is best because the lower middle class is raised to believe if something is too good to be true than it probably is, to expect disappointment, and to fear risk and the unknown.
Nothing is that settled.
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