a room of one's own

Right now I'm sitting in my room, which is disorganized but spartan (my boyfriend refers to my bohemian closet organizing system of department store bags and suitcases where there should be bins and shelves as 'creative'), deciding about whether to be social tonight. Specifically, martinis with some ladies I really like and haven't seen in months.

The issue? The invitation was tossed out by my roommate.

My roommate is overly accommodating and genuinely kind. She does a lot of things for me that I wouldn't necessarily do for someone else. But, as of this weekend, she crossed the line in inviting herself into my social life... And it's only Saturday night.

It started with asking for an invite to my lunch with C. C is my awkward but edgy friend who likes music so far underground I won't hear about it in my indie circles for a year, he's sarcastic and endearing and ultimately really intelligent. We were out for a kind of Vietnamese food I'd never had, even though I'm kind of a foreign food junkie. I really did want them to maybe be friends.

Not only did she (unknowingly) condescendingly explain to me how to order off the menu, and monopolize the conversation with topics that C and I never would have bothered with, generally centering around her interests, afterwards when we had gone home she said "how exactly do you hang around with him on your own?"

He is my friend. I never say anything about any of her friends, including those who live on the fringes of social circles. In fact, I would never make a derogatory comment about anyone I knew someone else liked. She said it in front of some people we had over who proceeded to slam C in a junior-high-style character assassination. He has never personally done anything to any of them, I'm not sure any of them have ever had a conversation with him.

At the time, I was making dinner with my boyfriend. We do really mundane crap together all the time because it's fun, always better when we're together and cheeseball sentiments galore. My apartment has a kitchen that is smaller than a closet and connects to the living room, my roommate decided to cook something for company later that night as we were attempting our latest culinary experiment. It was crowded, and my boyfriend didn't care because he's cool. She had people over just as we were moving on to dessert, so we cleaned up the kitchen a bit and bridged our social time before we could head over to my room and continue our quasi-date in peace.

A nauseatingly self-important conversation ensued, including a general dismissal of C, and afterwards my boyfriend rolled his eyes. His reaction confirmed my general annoyance at how my social life was not only co-opted but openly mocked. I blew off the event I was supposed to go to with her and the acquaintances and spent it curled up with him instead.

She wonders why I have more friends from our profession.