notes on things that make my skin itch

"Well, X is a fashion designer and she says that she would never use synthetics because at least fur and things like that are biodegradable and don't produce anything harmful when they're being processed."

Um, X is a waitress in a town with no fashion industry. Who is in her late twenties.

It's one thing to name drop. It's another to fake on behalf of your friends to make it sound like the people you hang out have interesting careers. It's an entire other when you forget that we hang out with the same people.

*

I used to belong to a social cause group and I finally left because something about it, the meetings, would always make me upset. I realized this week that none of the people I consider real champions of the kind of things that I believe need to be done in the world were ever associated with that group. That what was making me uncomfortable was how hanging around with a bunch of people who have resumes that look like they understand poverty and disadvantage and marginalization, but don't, was making me believe that things like Art Shows and Fundraisers were Valid Ways To Make A Difference. And that some of the 'projects' they came up with were essentially kind of a demeaning picture of 'aid.'

I have this really good friend and the other week we were at a party and some rail thin blond girl was swooning all over my friend, telling her how she looks up to her and hopes to do the kind of work my friend has done. I looked over and deadpanned, "Aim a little higher." Which was probably an asshole infused effect of a few drinks, but was genuine.

My friend doesn't have a career in helping people. She has a lot of well-placed family political connections that have secured her internships with shiny organizations in big cities. She does not volunteer for things that do not look good on a resume and constantly reminds other people about her 'credentials.'

The scary thing I started to wonder, though, was if people buy it. If, when credentials on paper are matched up her 'experiences' beat out people who come from backgrounds who understand Art Show does not equal Social Consciousness. If it's taken into account that the reason she's done so much volunteer work is that she's never really worked at anything resembling a job and her parents pay thousands of dollars to fly her wherever someone will give her something to do.

She's my friend, but none of this is something I admire.

And maybe that makes me overly picky, and maybe I should herald the fact that she's not pushing powder up her nose with that plane ticket money, but maybe that would be a little easier if I couldn't tell you word for word what that f*cking CV says.